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BreakingNews with Joanna Rocket
Roads out of town will be closed today between 7:00 PM and 11:00 PM due to a severe instance of our monthly unforseen meteorological events. Radar shows a mass of darkly-coloured clouds (in shapes such as circles, triangles and even a dog's head being reported) approaching in from the North with a likely chance of high winds and heavy downpours lasting into the evening. Residents of Town and the nearby Sutherland area should expect possible power outages and are asked to stay indoors, light some candles and enjoy the comforting, chaotic peace of impending possible destruction.
That'll wrap up this edition of BreakingNews with Joanna Rocket. I'm your host, Joanna Rocket, wishing you all clearer skies.